Part 2-World Race Testimony-secrecy and emotional manipulation

March 30, 2018 by missionsandmysticism

“The prophet who shall speak a word presumptuously in My name which I have not commanded him to speak, or which he shall speak in the name of other gods, that prophet shall die. And you may say in your heart, “How shall we know the word which the Lord has not spoken?” When a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord, if the thing does not come about or come true, that is the thing which the Lord has not spoken. The prophet has spoken it presumptuously; you shall not be afraid of him (Deuteronomy 18:20–22; cf. 3:1–5).

This is continued testimony, see Part 1 here

“I want to be careful about how I talk about certain parts of my trip. I do not want to practice slander and I do not feel that the best use of my time is to speak negatively of a Christian entity, however, as a fellow WR reminded me of recently, The Lord takes hypocritical practices, false teachings, and heresy seriously. They lead His people astray and they abuse His children, and that is something I am willing to speak out against.

There was a point in our trip when we found out our contact in a certain country had been sexually abusing children in our place of ministry. It was confirmed and we let the country shortly after. I have no actual proof that AIM tried to cover the truth of that up, but I know that my teammates and I were instructed not to speak to our parents about the incident as it would jeopardize the perceived integrity of the mission.

The hardest part of my race came next, the “teachings.”

For two weeks, we stayed in secluded town under strict rules not to leave the parameters of the small area.
Every day, usually twice a day if not more, we were required to attend teachings by a man who told us he was called out to speak to us and lead us by AIM. He told us that God had told him that we weren’t being obedient to His call. He told us that God spoke to him and told him to call us out of the depths.

One day he told us all to go 12 hours in silence and seclusion. We were discouraged from bringing our bibles or our journals, we were supposed to just “listen” to God. Many people snuck away after a few hours but I was desperate to hear from this God who thought I was disobedient and who was calling me. I sat in silence trying to “listen” to God for hours, but I heard nothing audibly. We were told he sends us pictures and speaks to us audibly if we ask and I didn’t receive that type of communication. When I told the speaker ashamedly that, he said that it was because I hadn’t fully surrendered to him yet. I was living in rebellion. I remember sneaking away later that day and crying for hours about not being able to pinpoint exactly what I hadn’t given up. I implored God that I would do anything if he would please just communicate with me like he was with everyone else who saw pictures and heard a voice.

My journal entry from that night reads:

Am I faking everything I say about your hand in my life? Am I trying too hard or not enough? Do you want my heart? Do you know my scream? Lord I am begging you to hold me. Answer me this, Lord, do you truly love me unendingly and want me? Am I yours? Fix me. Do you hear me, God? Can you see this heart? Jesus, give me something. I’ll do anything!

It is so hard to read the desperation in my words to a God who I NOW understand loves me unendingly and has given me His word, the bible, to tell me that. He never required me to hear an audible voice, but at the time, I was told that was how I would hear from The Lord if He was truly my God.

I can’t remember if it was later that day or the next day, but the speaker called for a baptism by the water. One person had asked him to baptize them. After the baptism, the speaker said that God was telling him that someone else there wanted to be baptized. We sat in silence. He kept saying over and over again that God was telling him someone was fighting the urge to be cleansed. A girl came forward and got baptized. He said it again. Over and over he said that God was telling him “there’s someone else, theres someone else”. Another girl came forward. This cycle continued until over 15 people came forward to be baptized. It was an extremely emotionally manipulative time.

Later that night, one of the most disturbing things of my trip occurred. We were told to “sing our song”. It was supposed to be our own unique sound of praise. We were given chairs to stand on and it wasn’t long until a girl let out a blood curdling scream. Then someone started doing bird calls. Some people sang worship songs but only quietly as our song was supposed to be “different and unique” to our own spiritual journey. Leaders from that week were stationed at the exits and I remember being desperate to leave. I felt scared and it was getting dark as people were yelling and calling out. I waited until a saw a leader leave a spot open near an exit and I ran until I couldn’t hear anyone yelling anymore. I found two other teammates who had escaped too, one was in tears and terrified, I sat with her. Another wouldn’t speak.

I just needed to write this specific couple of days down, its not eloquent or redeeming or any type of conclusive. It’s just what happened and what no one talks about.

A few resources that may help to think through some topics she brought up.

“Once a congregation sees Scripture as less than the final, complete, infallible authority for faith and practice, it has opened the doors to theological chaos. Anyone can claim to be speaking God’s revelation—and almost anything can be passed off as divinely revealed truth. And make no mistake, some of the best-known charismatic leaders have abused their people’s trust by claiming they are receiving new truth from God, when what they are really teaching are lies and fabrications.”  Does God still give revelation?

“There is the view that God still speaks to us independent of the Bible. Drink this milk for a number of years and you will soon be attributing to God the inner voices coming from your fallen self. Then there is the view of “the man of God” who is a cut above everyone else in the church. Again suck this for a few years and, before you know it, you want to be a bishop, an apostle, and God-knows what other ecclesiastical titles are being forged in this factory of madness. You also close yourself off from peer accountability structures. You are a chief! Conrad Mbewe-African pastor God still speak to us?

“Fallen human beings have devised many ways of worshiping their gods, but the living God will only be worshiped in a manner that honors Him. We know we are called to worship our Lord in a manner pleasing to Him, but what does this look like? In this lecture, Dr. Steven Lawson examines the biblical principles of worship and explores the insights of the Reformers into this vitally important facet of Christian faith and life.”  Dr. Steve Lawson

“We live in a culture that is self-focused. Sadly, even our worship can become about how it makes us feel or what we get out of it. We may go to church because the songs and the routine give us warm feelings, or we choose to skip church because we don’t feel like going. But the Bible is clear that worship is not about us. It’s about God. His Word instructs us to worship because He deserves our praise.”  Alistair Begg -What is True Worship?

“The Scriptures are sufficient to equip us for a life of faith and service. The contents demonstrate God’s intention to restore the broken relationship between Himself and sinful humanity through His Son, Jesus Christ, our Savior through the regenerating work of the Spirit, applying the reconciling work of Jesus Christ . No additional writings are necessary for this good news to be understood, nor are any other writings required to equip us for a life of faith.”  Sermons focusing on the Sufficiency of Scripture

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